#girldad

It has been four days since the deaths of nine people, including Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna, in a helicopter accident. It’s only been four days, but it’s felt more like months.

I’m still surprised at how these deaths have affected so many people, including myself. As I have stated before, I have never been a huge fan of Kobe but I have always respected him as a human being, a player and a father. And I think that last one is what gets to me most.

Since Sunday I have seen hundreds of social media posts of females and their dads with the hashtag #girldad. And truthfully every time I see these posts its like throwing salt in a gaping and raw wound.

I haven’t really had a great relationship with my father ever. Our relationship has basically been nonexistent for the last two or three years. We haven’t spoken since I started my graduate program in Specialized Journalism and sports at USC. As a girl interested in pursuing a career in sports, this is the time I would want to share my experiences with my dad even more and I can’t — because he doesn’t care. Every post I see on social media shows a dad proud of his daughter and engaging in her life. Most of these girls are in sports and that is every girl dad’s dream — for his daughter to play a sport and be interested in sports.

So even though I’m not a die-hard 24 fan, every time I see a post or report about him I find myself crying. Crying for the dad and daughter relationship that I’ll never have. Crying for the amazing dad who doesn’t get to watch his other daughters grow up. Crying for those precious girls who will have to continue life without a dad.

But we all experience different things in life for a reason. We all have different lives to walk and different shoes to fill. The worn and broken sneakers I’m walking in today are preparing me for something in the future. I hope that I can one day use my experiences to help others in similar situations. Until then, I’ll keep those broken sneakers because no matter how much they hurt they are a big part of my life.

Tonight, the men’s basketball team at the University of Southern California have written on their “Kobe” sneakers to honor Kobe and Gianna. The team honored two people who had an amazing dad and daughter relationship that everyone could hope for.